How Do Unicorns Have Babies?
by Vietta
Summary: Reno wants to know how unicorns have babies.


Elena rubbed her temples as Reno pestered her with questions, this was the _last_ time she ever brought anything she liked to work, "I don't know Reno!"

"Well is the unicorn a girl or a boy? Is that his boy toy or a nipple?" Reno turned the poster Elena had brought to hang in her office and squinted at it carefully, "Is it a boy or a girl? Can unicorns be boys? How are ya supposed ta tell though? 'Cause that thing between its legs is really hairy but unicorns are really hairy all over so it could just be a really fuzzy nipple." Reno frowned at the poster and brought it close to his face.

"Reno I don't know how you tell!" Elena held her head in her hands, her well-polished fingernails digging into her scalp.

"Just tell me whatcha think Laney! You're a girl! Girls are supposed to know all about unicorns!" Reno whined and pointed at the poster, "What is it? Boy or girl?"

"Girl! They're all girls! Will you _please_ put it back on the wall and let me go back to work?" Elena grabbed for the poster and Reno handed it to her.

He cocked his head to one side, "If they're all girls then how do they have babies?"

Elena shoved him from her office with a yell, "I don't know go ask Tseng!"

Tseng raised an eyebrow as Reno walked into his office, "What do you need Reno?"

Reno looked at him, his face more serious than Tseng had ever seen it before, "Tseng, how do unicorns have babies?"

Tseng stared back, completely nonplussed, "How do unicorns have babies?"

Reno nodded vigorously, "If they're all girls how do they have babies? Do they have boy parts in their horn?"

"That would make them androgynous." Tseng frowned, his face still blank with confusion, "You can't have a thriving species without both males and females."

Reno gasped, "Laney lied!?"

Tseng deadpanned, "Elena told you all unicorns were girls?"

Reno screwed his face up in concentration, "Maybe they're like frogs and change all the time!"

"They don't exist, why are you so worried about it?" Tseng raised an eyebrow.

Reno gave a loud indignant shriek, "They do so exist!" He ran from the room, Tseng blinking in confusion in his wake.

Reno burst into Zack's office with a large frown on his face, "How do unicorns have babies?"

Zack blinked, "Like any other animal has babies?"

"But do they give birth to live babies or do they lay eggs?" Reno frowned in concentration as he lingered in Zack's doorway.

Zack shrugged, "I dunno, both?"

Reno rolled his eyes, "You can't have both! I said _or_ don't you listen?" He stroked his chin as he thought, "Maybe their horn is an egg?"

"You think they carry babies around on their heads?" Zack laughed, enjoying Reno's dilemma, "What if they're like puffins?"

"Puffins?" Reno asked, intrigued.

Zack picked his pen up and started filing out his paperwork, "Puffins shed their beaks for smaller ones after mating season. Maybe all horses are unicorns but only have horns when its time to make babies."

Reno gasped, "That would make my eggs theory ridiculous!" Reno turned and ran from the room, slamming the door shut behind him while Zack rolled on the floor in laughter.

Reno ran into Rufus' office, "Rufus! How do unicorns have babies?"

Rufus looked up, "_What_?"

Reno looked asked again, "How do unicorns have babies?"

Rufus cleared his throat, "Care to explain your theory before I answer?"

Reno took a deep breath, "Well Laney told me they were all girls but Tseng says they can't all be girls or there wouldn't be any so I figure they're like frogs and can change all the time. Then I asked Zack how they have babies, if they lay eggs or have real babies and then Zack said they're like puffins and shed their horns after mating season and become regular horses but I thought their horns might be eggs but now I'm not so sure."

Rufus blinked as Reno panted for breath, "Maybe the horn is an egg and it hatches after they shed it?"

Reno slapped himself in the forehead, "Of course!" He ran out of the room. Rufus cleared his throat and paged his secretary, "Janet, have someone catch Reno and take him to the hospital, I think he's overdosed on something again."

**

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Author's Note: Thanks to by bestest buddy Savannah for having a long chat with me about unicorn procreation, without you this story would not be possible. **

**Also, I went to the zoo and learned about puffins yesterday :)**

**R&R!**


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